...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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