If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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