I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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