woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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