That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
