Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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