yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
