1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
