you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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