first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Farmville is her only friend.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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