What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
