Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
