Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
