I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
