turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
