Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
