first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
