4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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