So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
