It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
