I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
