I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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