i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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