i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Threesome in a minivan. New low
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
