isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
