I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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