Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
