Having a random hookup so left but love u
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
