Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize