I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
