I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
