i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
