two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
