i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
