I should be sponsored by Trojan
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
