it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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