Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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