Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just forgot I was standing up.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
