Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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