Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
