I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Randomize
