Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
