Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
