How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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