ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
