ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
