I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
