I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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