It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
