But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
