Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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